Sunday 5 March 2017

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict(Blog Post #3)

This conflict occurred last year during one of my classes. It was the week after our mid-term examinations and the tension in class was high as the lecturer was returning us our exam scripts. As the lecturer returned our scripts, I observed my classmates’ expressions varied from smiles to looks of disappointment.There was also a heavy discussion of results between different cliques in the class. Suddenly, there was a conflict between two of my classmates. For convenience sake, I will address them as Tom and Jerry.

Tom, who scored well on his exam, had asked jerry about his results. Jerry then raised his voice and said: “Why do you want to know?”. Tom was taken aback by jerry’s reaction to his question and said: “I was just asking, why are you so angry?”. Jerry flared up and claimed that Tom was asking because he had good results and wanted to show off. Tom was angered by the accusation and said that he was just asking out of concern for jerry. Upon hearing this, Jerry just stormed out of the class. From then on, the friendship between tom and jerry had turned sour.

From the scenario above, we can tell that the conflict occurred due to a misunderstanding on jerry’s part. Tom had asked jerry about his results out of goodwill because he was concerned for his classmate and could offer help if he needed it. On the other hand, jerry did not score well and felt embarrassed about his results which had caused him to become defensive and accuse tom of showing off.  In my opinion, jerry should not have become defensive as tom was just concerned about jerry’s results. If jerry had put aside his ego and apologized to tom, he could have salvaged their friendship.

After reading this scenario, what would you have done if you were in the same situation as jerry? 

4 comments:

  1. If I were Jerry, and feeling embarrassed about my results, I would sit down beside Tom first. Then, I would probably smile and tell him that I was uncomfortable about sharing my results with anyone. This way, Tom would know what I was feeling and hopefully he would not ask any further.

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  2. If I am in Jerry's shoes, I would probably be open to Tom about my results since he is asking out of a goodwill which means that he care about you as a friend and he may want to help you out with your studies if you need any.

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  3. Hello leader,

    If I were Jerry, it depends on what kind of character Tom is. If he is the one that usually disturb others and brag about his marks, I will choose to ignore him when he asked for my scores about the exam.

    On the other hand, if he is the humble type or was the one that taught and guided me for that module, I would had told him my score and asked him about the questions that I got wrong. This way I could still learn from my mistakes and most importantly I would had not lost a good friend to work with.

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  4. That was a very unfortunate situation you have witness as a moment of haste judgement from Jerry has caused him a friend. However, I can sympathize with Jerry as I too will be embarrassed with getting bad grades. But instead of snapping at Tom like Jerry did, I would have told Tom that I am uncomfortable with disclosing my results with him and will hope that he can understand.

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